Key insights about sexual addictions / compulsions and recovery:
1. Sex addiction resembles other addictions.
2. Sex addicts use sex to self-medicate, to numb distressful emotions.
3. Repeated numbing of distressful emotions can result in depression.
4. Sex addicts, therefore, use sex as an antidepressant.
5. Sex addicts, because they use sex to avoid feeling distressful emotions, also avoid emotional intimacies in relationships.
6. Sex addicts can feel very lonely and isolated.
7. Sexual addiction can be fueled by sexual fantasies that are a replacement for real life interaction.
8. Sex addicts spend an unfortunate amount of time in their heads, avoiding life.
9. Sex addicts can be ahead of a moment in time or behind the moment. They are often not in the moment. Not in the here and now.
10. Sexual addiction can be progressive in nature.
11. Sometimes the sex addict wants more and more sexual involvement.
12. Sometimes the sex addict becomes involved in sexual activity that is ever more depraved (ritualistic, rigid, without caring, hurtful).
13. Because of their shame and fear about being found out, the sex addict might keep their behaviors secret.
14. This kind of secret keeping creates shame and depression.
15. Recovery requires that an individual have a thought out plan of action.
16. Recovery is about breaking the secrecy and isolation.
17. Recovery means recovering the ability to feel.
18. There are many paths to recovery.
19. Recovery means reconnecting to a power within and outside of oneself.
20. The addiction is not same entity as the human being that is afflicted by it.
21. The addiction is like a parasite or virus that invades the host, living off of it.
22. The addiction is mindless.
23. The human is mindful.
24. Recovery is the process of recovering intelligence.
25. The addiction's first task is to cause the human host to forget.
26. Forgetting healthy directions leaves the human vulnerable.
27. A plan to abstain is a comprehensive plan that maps one's directions throughout the day and night.
28. We use other humans to keep us accountable to others and ourselves.
29. Recovery is developing caring, supportive relationships.
30. In these relationships there is safety to speak the truth.